Tag: presence

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To Build, and Not to Tear Down – Terumah 5784

I do not usually watch the Super Bowl, but I do enjoy checking out the ads after the fact. There were two ads this year which caught my eye. One, presented by a Christian organization, portrayed scenes of diverse people washing each other’s feet, a reference to an act of compassion performed by Jesus in the Christian scriptures. 

The other presented a former speechwriter for Dr. Martin Luther King talking about how all hatred thrives on silence, and connected that to the current rise in antisemitism. This ad, paid for by Robert Kraft’s Foundation to Combat Antisemitism, ended with interchanging hashtags #StandUpToJewishHate and #StandUpToAllHate.

Some news outlets were quick to point out that there was online backlash against both. Critics of the Christian ad were bothered that the money came from Evangelical organizations which are anti-abortion. The anti-antisemitism ad was criticized by some Jewish commentators for being too vague, while antisemitic extremists were apparently thrilled because the ad also at one point displayed the hashtag #Hitlerwasright.

We have become so accustomed to criticism from all sides, no matter how marginal it may be, that we often lose sight of the value of our larger principles. We forget that it is always easier to tear down than to build up. 

Our good friend and neighbor, Rev. Canon Natalie Hall of the Church of the Redeemer, was disenchanted by some of her Christian colleagues’ criticism of the very Christian message of compassion. In responding to some of this criticism, she wrote, “Despite many theological and political errors Evangelicals often espouse, I can’t look at a good message with disdain because the messengers might contaminate me with their culture-war cooties. We’re not enemies. It’s calmer over here. Want to join me?”

There is an essential moment in Parashat Terumah, from which we read today, when God calls for materials with which to build the mishkan, the portable sanctuary that the Israelites are to use for worship (Shemot / Exodus 25:2):

מֵאֵ֤ת כׇּל־אִישׁ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר יִדְּבֶ֣נּוּ לִבּ֔וֹ תִּקְח֖וּ אֶת־תְּרוּמָתִֽי׃

You shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart is so moved.

Maybe we should read this not as “every individual whose heart moves her/him,” but rather as “all of us, whose hearts are moving us.” That is, all of the Israelites’ hearts will be moved to bring these gifts with which to build the mishkan. And that is exactly what happens. There’s actually so much stuff that Moshe has to ask them all to stop.

We all want to get behind those causes which our hearts are moving us to support. We all want to help out in ways that are constructive.

A question that we might ask, therefore, in our current moment, is, “We are seeing vast rifts in our society right now over complicated issues. How might we be able to speak to one another across political lines, so that we might build, and not tear down?”

I have been thinking quite a bit about this question, particularly since October 7th. And many of us have been engaged in various ways with events here on the ground in Pittsburgh that are related to what is going on in Israel.

For example, there are members of our congregation who regularly attend the vigils held every Sunday to remember the hostages held in Gaza and advocate for bringing them home, and of course we have a visual reminder here on our bimah.

A few weeks back we hosted the United in Compassion event, at which about 75 people of different faiths and backgrounds and political persuasions shared stories which helped elevate our sense of compassion for one another. This was intentionally NOT focused on Israel or politics, but for some participants, it was of course difficult not to think about the war as we were talking.

A different sort of event which I attended, however, was much more challenging, and much more difficult with respect to mustering compassion. It was a two-hour meeting of primarily clergy: three rabbis and four Christian ministers of different denominations, plus Laura Cherner of the Federation’s Jewish Communal Relations Council. This meeting was organized by Rabbi Ron Symons of the JCC, and the intent was to speak with each other about the situation in Israel and Gaza from our individual perspectives, and ideally to listen to one another and perhaps to find common ground. I agreed to participate, although I knew going in that the Christian participants were people with whom I would disagree vehemently.

And I am proud of myself for successfully listening and not letting my anger boil over as I heard them use the inaccurate and inflammatory language that so many pro-Palestinian activists hurl in public: apartheid, genocide, 75 years of occupation, ethnic cleansing, and so forth. My adrenaline pumped for the entire two hours as they urged an immediate ceasefire without regard to hostages or Hamas’ terrorist activities or the brutal sexual violence which they committed on as many as 1500 Israeli women. I clenched my teeth as they cited the Gazan children killed during this war, without acknowledging that about 40% of the widely quoted figure of Palestinian casualties are actually Hamas terrorists. I bristled at the notion, widely accepted in some quarters, that the Israeli treatment of Palestinians is just like the treatment of Black Americans at the hands of police.

And that was hard. To hear that sort of language coming from clergy, people who lead others in faith and compassion, was quite upsetting.

And then we agreed that we should meet again in a month, to keep talking.

And I have been asking myself, why? Why go back, and subject myself to two more hours of adrenaline and clenched teeth. I am not going to change the mind of anybody in that room. I am not going to impact American public opinion on this war, which is gradually shifting away from the Israeli point of view. I am not going to have any control over what is happening in Israel. I am not going to hasten Israeli elections to dump the current coalition for their tremendous failures in allowing all of this mess to happen in the first place. And I am certainly not going to be able to bring the relevant parties to the table to build a hopeful future for the region. 

So why go back? 

And you know the answer. In order to build, and not merely tear down, you have to be in conversation. You have to meet people face-to-face. You have to talk, even when it is painful and uncomfortable. Even when they are spouting misinformation. Even when their words might be effectively calling for the expulsion of your family from their home.

Merely criticizing and/or demonizing people on the other side will not accomplish anything. Rather, those of us whose hearts are so moved must bring gifts with which to build, and in particular, the gift of presence.

Educator and tour guide Avi Ben Hur spoke last week at the first of three lectures co-sponsored by Beth Shalom, on the current state of affairs in Israel. Among the things he said was that only 27% of Israelis still favor a two-state solution. (He did not mention, although I heard elsewhere, that 38% of Israelis want to re-occupy and re-settle Gaza, which is to me a detestable idea.) And likely even fewer Palestinians than Israelis are interested in a two-state solution.

Ben Hur painted a bleak portrait. How can you even talk about peace, about coexistence, about living side-by-side under our own vines and fig trees, when we are shooting at each other? One of the most well-known Israeli peace activists, Vivian Silver, was murdered by Hamas terrorists at Kibbutz Be’eri on October 7, her life’s work gone in a flash of gunpowder.

While I admire Rabbi Symons’ commitment to keeping us talking to each other, here in Pittsburgh, so far away, I am finding it hard to see anything hopeful.

Except right there in the Torah in Parashat Terumah, reminding us that those whose heart moves them can, in fact, make a difference. We may not be able to begin to build yet, but we can hope that some day, when all of our hearts are moved collectively, that time will come. And in the meantime, we have to keep showing up, and to keep talking.

As many of you know, my Lunch and Learn series this year has focused on playing Israeli pop songs from across the 20th century, as a lens through which to see the history of the State of Israel. One of the most influential pop performance groups of the ‘50s and ‘60s was an army band, one many at the time: Lehaqat haNaḥal, which drew musicians and performers from the Naḥal Brigade of the IDF. (Naḥal was conceived not only as an army unit but also a team to develop new agricultural settlements throughout Israel, playing an essential role in the building of the State. Some of the most well-known Israeli performers were alumni of Lehaqat haNaḥal, including Arik Einstein, Haim Topol, Yardena Arazi, and many, many others who have shaped Israeli pop culture.)

In 1963, Lehaqat haNaḥal sang a song of hope written by Naomi Shemer. That was a time when Israel’s very existence was tenuous, when there was a palpable fear that her enemies on all sides could crush the nascent state. And the song they sang was Maḥar (“Tomorrow”):

מחר אולי נפליגה בספינות
מחוף אילת עד חוף שנהב
ועל המשחתות הישנות
יטעינו תפוחי זהב

כל זה אינו משל ולא חלום
זה נכון כאור בצהריים
כל זה יבוא מחר אם לא היום
ואם לא מחר אז מחרתיים

מחר אולי בכל המשעולים
ארי בעדר צאן ינהג
מחר יכו באלף ענבלים
המון פעמונים של חג

…כל זה אינו משל ולא חלום

מחר יקומו אלף שיכונים
ושיר יעוף במרפסות
ושלל כלניות וצבעונים
יעלו מתוך ההריסות

…כל זה אינו משל ולא חלום

מחר כשהצבא יפשוט מדיו
ליבנו יעבור לדום
אחר כל איש יבנה בשתי ידיו
את מה שהוא חלם היום

…כל זה אינו משל ולא חלום

Tomorrow, perhaps we will sail in ships from the shores of Eilat to the Ivory Coast,
And the old destroyers will be loaded with oranges.

All of this is neither a parable nor a dream; it is as true as the light of the afternoon
All of this will come tomorrow if not today, and if not tomorrow, then the day after…

Tomorrow, when the army will take off its uniform, our hearts will turn to silence
Then each of us will build with our two hands that of which we dreamt today.

***
That dream of peace may seem as far away now as it was in 1963. But Israelis, and Jews all over the world, have never turned away from it. We have to maintain the generosity of spirit that has marked our willingness to contribute since Parashat Terumah. We must continue to bring those gifts, in particular the gift of presence, to keep talking, and seek not to tear down, but rather to build.

~

Rabbi Seth Adelson

(Originally delivered at Congregation Beth Shalom, Pittsburgh, PA, Shabbat morning, 2/17/2024.)

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Responding to Evil with Presence – Toledot 5784

When I was in seventh grade, I read Lord of the Flies by William Golding. In case you have not read it, you should know that it is about a group of English schoolboys who survive a plane crash and are stranded on a desert island with no adults. What soon happens is that, in their attempts to govern themselves, their civility wears away, and the result is tribalism, cruelty, and ultimately murder.

That may have been the first book I read that saw the great potential for evil in the human spirit; that the yetzer hatov, inclination to do good, which we usually display as we go through our lives only masks the yetzer hara, the evil inclination which is just beneath the surface. 

It was, for me, a blunt awakening to the realities of humanity. Golding was no stranger to the horrors of war, having landed at Normandy in 1944, and when he wrote Lord of the Flies a decade later, he was also to some extent reflecting on the Cold War and the threat of conflict between nuclear superpowers.

Ḥevreh, I witnessed evil two weeks ago. Evil exists in the human soul, and the Jewish people have very real enemies. When I was in Israel, I saw firsthand the aftermath of their bloody pursuits.

Masorti rabbis witnessing the destruction at Kibbutz Kfar Aza, 11/7/2023.

And I also saw good. I saw people taking care of other people. I saw people who, despite the huge amount of pain that they are carrying, stand up to tell their story, to attempt to help others understand, to step forward as volunteers to bring food and clothing and shelter and comfort in a place where none will be sufficient. I saw people supporting each other – standing together in anguish to hold and hug and give comfort to one another. In the midst of the desolation of destruction and loss and incomparable grief, I also saw togetherness and hope.

“Hostage Square” in Tel Aviv, 11/6/2023.

On Tuesday, Nov. 28th at 7:30 PM at Beth Shalom, I will present a travelogue of my trip, including stories, photos, the deeply unsettling details and the potentially inspiring responses.

***

Something which occurs up front in Parashat Toledot is the following (Bereshit / Genesis 25:21):

וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר יִצְחָ֤ק לַֽה֙’ לְנֹ֣כַח אִשְׁתּ֔וֹ כִּ֥י עֲקָרָ֖ה הִ֑וא וַיֵּעָ֤תֶר לוֹ֙ ה’ וַתַּ֖הַר רִבְקָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ׃

Isaac pleaded with God on behalf of his wife, because she was barren; and God responded to his plea, and his wife Rivqah conceived.

The translation of the term לְנֹ֣כַח אִשְׁתּ֔וֹ / lenokhaḥ ishto, found in your ḥumash as Yitzḥaq praying to God “on behalf of his wife,” glosses something much more complex. נֹ֣כַח / nokhaḥ actually means “present.” That is, Yitzḥaq is praying not only in the presence of his wife Rivqah, but also for her presence.

The 16th century Italian commentator, Rabbi Ovadiah Seforno, wrote the following about this: 

לנכח אשתו. אף על פי שהובטח על הזרע שיירש, התפלל לאל ית’ שיתן לו אותו הזרע מזאת ההגונה הנצבת נכחו:

“Even though he had been given an assurance from God that he would produce descendants, he prayed to God that these descendants would be meritorious, of the caliber of Rivkah who was present and standing opposite him.”

What Seforno is saying is that the verse tells us not only that Rivqah is standing there as Yitzḥaq prays for his wife, but also that, in being present with her, those children and their offspring would be worthy of all of Rivqah’s many strengths: her values, her modesty, her steadfastness, her tenacity, her wisdom, her character. By being fully present in body and soul at this moment, both Yitzḥaq and Rivqah are setting up the expectation that the Jewish people will reflect those values in their presence eternally.

There is great merit in presence. In being there. “The first act of Jewish peoplehood,” according to an email I received this week from the Shalom Hartman Institute, “is showing up. Jewish Peoplehood is not an abstract concept but an obligation, especially in times of crisis.”

We show up for each other. We are there for each other in times of joy – weddings, benei mitzvah, as we celebrate at this moment, beritot milah and baby namings – and also in times of grief. We are there for each other for funerals and shiv’ah and yizkor / remembrance. And we are there for each other in times of prayer, of pleading for atonement, of rejoicing on holidays.

Some Christians speak of the “ministry of presence” – that is, just being there for others, particularly in times of grief, even when there are no words which might penetrate the depths of pain. That idea is baked fundamentally into Jewish life, such that I do not think that there is even a term for it. The principle in a shiv’ah house, for example, is that you should not speak to the avel, the mourner, until she or he speaks to you. Sometimes sitting in silence, as uncomfortable as it is, is actually the right thing to do when a friend is in pain.

Something that a Hebrew school teacher told me when I was in second grade has stayed with me. She said, “When Jews are in hot water, they stick together.” Now, as a seven-year-old, I had no idea what she meant, and I was left puzzled with images of Jews in a hot bathtub, clinging to one another as if magnetized.

But I witnessed this phenomenon this week, as I traveled with more than 500 members of the Pittsburgh Jewish community, including somewhere around 50 folks from Beth Shalom, to gather on the Mall in Washington, DC with nearly 300,000 others from around our nation. There were people from across the many spectra of the Jewish community – politically left and right, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, secular, Ashkenazi and Sepharadi – as well as non-Jewish allies. It was a powerful moment, which some are claiming as the largest gathering of Jews ever in America.

Washington, DC, November 14, 2023

And we were all there to be present, to be counted. To stand with Israel and with each other. To pray, to sing, to listen to the words of leaders, to hope together that God will help us find our way from darkness to light. And that felt powerful.

Lurking behind the strength of presence was, of course, the need for security. I know that the Jewish Federations of North America spent millions of dollars on trying to ensure the safety of participants. And I saw the need for security when, as we were walking to the Mall along with many others, we were shocked to see a middle-aged man in a car stop in the middle of the street, block traffic, roll down his windows and yell at a group of day school students, in a Middle Eastern accent, “You are terrorists! You are killers! We will overthrow you! We will kick you out!”

I do not know this for a fact, but I am guessing that when there are anti-Israel rallies, at which protesters call Israel an “apartheid” state and claim that she is committing “genocide” and other such falsehoods, those folks do not have to bother with security. One day after 300,000 people gathered peacefully on the Mall to stand with Israel, 150 protesters, members of the anti-Zionist Jewish group IfNotNow engaged in violent clashes with police outside the Democratic National Committee headquarters. 

But we, who stand for the memory of innocent civilians who were murdered, for those who were taken hostage and their families, who stand against a cult of death and destruction, we need protection. 

Perhaps you heard about Vivian Silver, the Canadian-Israeli peace activist who had been presumed to be a hostage taken from Kibbutz Be’eri until her remains were identified this past week. Ms. Silver had a long and illustrious history of working toward peace and understanding between Jews and Arabs. She founded and ran organizations with this mission. She fought for gender equality in Israel, having worked on a Knesset subcommittee on the subject. She even led tours on the Israel-Gaza border to raise awareness of the plight of Gaza’s citizens. Just three days before she was brutally murdered, she helped organize a peace rally in Jerusalem which gathered 1500 Israeli and Palestinian women.

Vivian Silver

And on October 7th, she was reduced to just one more victim of terror, her life’s work gone in a flash, her breath taken from her by some of those she sought to empower.

True evil does not distinguish between Jew and Muslim, hawk or dove, women, men, children, soldiers, babies, octogenarians. True evil kills, and then points to a “humanitarian crisis” which it has created. True evil hides behind innocent people caught in a war zone, in hospitals and schools and mosques and apartment buildings, to maximize the death toll.

In an Arabic-language interview with Russia Today, a Hamas official was asked why they built 300 miles of tunnels instead of bomb shelters for Gazan civilians. He replied, “We have built the tunnels because we have no other way of protecting ourselves from being targeted and killed. These tunnels are meant to protect us from the airplanes. We are fighting from inside the tunnels. Everybody knows that 75% of the people in Gaza are refugees, and it is the responsibility of the UN to protect them.”

In other words, Hamas sees its job to attack Israel and kill Jews, not to protect the citizens of Gaza when Israel inevitably returns fire. This is evil. This is the cult of death that Hamas has created.

The Torah teaches us that evil is not an abstraction. It is real, and it is found in this world.

And we must respond to evil with presence. By showing up for each other. By standing up and being counted. By emphasizing our values: life, compassion, gratitude, generosity, the steadfastness of peoplehood, mercy and understanding. By sitting in silence with those in pain, and by crying out for justice for those who are held captive.

Adonai oz le’amo yiten; adonai yevarekh et amo bashalom. May God grant strength to God’s people; may God bless God’s people with peace (Tehillim / Psalms 29:11).

Oryah and I at Kibbutz Ein Gev, 11/8/2023

~

Rabbi Seth Adelson

(Originally delivered at Congregation Beth Shalom, Shabbat morning, 11/19/2023.)